The joys of jobseeking

Technically, for most the last year or so since leaving Google, I’ve been unemployed. I didn’t receive unemployment benefits, though, because I didn’t really need it and because the paperwork overhead seemed higher than I was prepared to deal with. (Plus of course the periods when I was studying or overseas.) But now I’m working on Growstuff and I’d like to get onto the New Enterprise Incentive Scheme, which offers small business training and mentoring and some small amount of funding for a year while you work on your new thing. Thing is, you need to be on unemployment benefits to qualify, and so I recently applied for Newstart.

As a Newstart recipient, I’m required to search for jobs, even though my goal is to run my own business. Whatever, I can play the game. I applied for a number of jobs online, figuring I’m probably over-qualified for most of them, but it fulfils the requirements. Today I got an email back from one of them, asking me to fill in an online questionaire. Obviously, to show good faith in my “job search” I need to do this, but I have to admit that it sapped my will to live.

The first part of the process was an 80 question “IQ” test which included the following questions:

The idea that the Earth is the centre of the universe is

a) improbable
b) intelligent
c) subversive
d) insular
e) astronomical

Such things as language, clothing, customs, color, idicate[sic]:

a) temperament
b) race
c) birthplace
d) location
e) personality

Which of the following is a trait of personality?

a) affluence
b) reputation
c) position
d) withdrawn
e) power

The second part of the questionaire, about the “product” of my most recent work (i.e. my year at Google) was even worse. Luckily their web app crashed and I couldn’t actually complete it.

My prospects as a trainee fleet co-ordinator seem less than stellar.