“things happen to men, too” (in the title), and
“but [x] happens to men, too” (carefully restated as the problem phrase, in the very first paragraph).

Notwithstanding that the FAQ entry makes the error of then constraining the topic to the rather narrow fields of “rape and reproductive rights” when in fact their position holds true for the broader case e.g. as we’re discussing, the removal of sexualising materials in environments that should remain neutral. I refuse to make that a feminist-only issue because I cannot retain credibility when defining workplace standards otherwise. Not least because it defines women as victims, when the truth is that both sexes are offended by sexualising materials in the workplace.

I really don’t understand why you think this is a marginal group issue, unless you really think that the problem solely exists for women at open-source conferences. Because in my world, the majority are people who already understand the need for fairness, balance and a sex/gender-neutral workplace, and the transgressors are the minority! But then those are characteristics that I explicitly hire for.

I like my way. I try to set a positive tone or respect and understanding, and enforce it universally. I do not believe in allowing marginal groups to sit complaining in the corner about how they are a marginal group; your so-called majority has to embrace and understand the needs of others, and this occurs only with mutual outreach and engagement, not harsh words and ghettoisation.

Everyone who has successfully changed the emotional tone of a group will, I hope, recognise my thesis.

You’re talking about duty. I leave that to bad Gilbert & Sullivan and talk about the practical politics of changing the world. I’ll do it my way and get results. You can keep complaining and wonder why you’re ghettoised. Best of luck with that.

And let me repeat: It is not the duty of any marginalised group to provide support for the majority.

But you do need to stick up for me. For example, I once politely asked a female employee to remove a male pin-up calendar. This was in an otherwise most harmonious office. Hilariously this was met with the same kind of dismissive mild hostility you’ve afforded me. It doesn’t help change things for the better. Fortunately I am a persistent chap with a thick skin, so I will keep trying.

And in the case of the staffer with the calendar, I went on to explain that I hoped to run an environment in which no-one could feel threatened; and that this meant, amongst other things, consistency across all sexualising materials. It took some time and numerous examples and counter-examples before she accepted this perspective. So please do stick up for me as much as smacking around asshats like RMS, and we can all benefit.

Your argument looks like the classic, “This happens to men too!” which appears with great regularly in comments on blog posts like these. You might like to read http://finallyfeminism101.wordpress.com/2007/10/18/phmt-argument/ for some background and understanding on that point.

I’m concerned that both examples given present only women as sex objects and that the scorecard assumes the role of “woman as victim”.

I’ve seen the occasional buffed Adonis, phallic graph etc in presentations and felt threatened as a man. I’m sure you can imagine the range of excuses that the female presenter might deploy (“Men do it too” “It’s harmless” etc).

You need to stick up for everyone threatened in this way to maintain credibility. kthx.

Obviously it is impossible to construct a team philosophy that caters to every cultural perspective. But the egalitarian model here in the West of your planet has been carved out by champions of equality. Most female programmers I’ve managed are profoundly introverted and not predisposed toward being that exemplar.

Now I’ve said this before and then been asked the question “should they be?”. I find that specious. Nothing should be taken for granted. Only a fool or a liar would state that equality of treatment and respect should be taken for granted – you humans naturally form stratified social orders and this must be accommodated and, where inappropriate, fought.

I’d definitely love to meet up in person at CLS as well. Something else to look forward to, see you this coming weekend, then!

Have you seen http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/EMACS_virgins_joke btw? And http://geekfeminism.wikia.com/wiki/Timeline_of_incidents more generally.

I understand you’re speaking at OSCON, which (sadly) I don’t think I’ll be attending. Are you at the Community Leadership Summit the preceding weekend…?